The Not So Diva Cup

Aunt Flo has Returned!!!!

Since the day of my removal I have been anticipating both a withdrawal bleed and a “regular” period. I have been wearing a panty liner, my least favorite undies and dark or black pants pretty much every day just in case I start to bleed. I think I went through half a dozen tampons just from them being in my pocket and either flinging themselves across the floor in the change room at the gym, or going through the washing machine. One of my tampons actually came flying out of my pocket and hit another girl one day while changing for a workout class. I was embarrassed, but she seemed understanding 🙂

I actually did not get the withdrawal bleed I was warned about by my doctor, which is ok by me! Exactly 3 weeks after my Mirena removal, when I’m wearing light grey pants and, for some reason, a beige thong without a liner (I’m not sure what I was or wasn’t thinking) I got my first period. Now luckily things started off slowly and not in a tidal wave fashion and both my pants and office chair have been spared, but I still find myself asking Mother Nature “Why today of all days?”

Now it’s been a while since I’ve had a regular cycle, so when I had my IUD removed I texted a few gal pals and one of the recommendations I got was the Diva Cup. I waited for a bonus points day at Shopper’s and purchased myself a cup in the Model  2 (for ladies over 30 in my case) and some wash. I really like concept of 12 hour wear and reducing the amount of feminine paper in the trash. Now that my period had started I was interested in trying this gadget out!!! My first insertion took a few tries and I ended up splayed out on the floor in the shower, but once it was in I couldn’t even tell. I wore it over night with no issues and popped it out in the morning to empty and rinse it.

SO this is where I start to question the name Diva Cup. I understand the “Cup” part but the “Diva” doesn’t really fit by my stereotypical standards. When I think of a Diva I picture someone like Mariah Carey.  Once I try to get rid of the imagery of short shorts, mini skirts and white pants that scream STAY AWAY while on your period,  I still  cannot seem to conjure an image in mind of Mariah digging around in her lady bits for a Diva Cup and then proceeding to dump the messy contents and wash it out. I’m not actually sure what a Diva would use for feminine hygiene, but I don’t really think that this is it….It may depend on the Diva? If it’s a Diva wiping with $100 bills then she’s probably buying cashmere tampons, but who knows – maybe it’s a Diva who is very environmentally conscious? Also a Diva would most likely have lovely long manicured nails and I don’t think that’s really best for this situation. Since leaving a healthcare setting where constant washing and scrubbing left my nails short and soft, I have been able to grow them a bit, but I still wouldn’t call them as long nails. Even with this bit of nails though, I can easily see the potential for scratching or puncturing of some sensitive skin, as well as some not so pleasant substances getting under the nails.  I suppose though if you are carrying around nail brushes and picks to clean out your nails that some people would call you a Diva. Honestly what came to mind was that washing the cup was kinda like washing your dirty dishes before your next meal. Do Divas wash their own dishes?

After contemplating all things no-so-diva about the Diva Cup, I did come up with one way that it is totally Diva – the public bathroom situation. For those of us regular folks, public bathrooms are part of life. Whether it’s at work, the gym, vacation etc, there’s a chance you don’t get to use a private single stall & single sink bathroom all day and everyday. Now with the 12 hour wear of the Diva Cup some ladies may not come across the need to change their cup in a public place, but for those who do I can see it being a bit inconvenient to say the least… Unless the other ladies in the bathroom are also Diva Cup users, when you walk in and wash your hands before you enter the stall you may get some funny looks. Then there is the process of removal and dumping in the toilet while trying not to make a huge mess, get anything on your or drop the cup in the toilet. I think in this case it might be nice to also have a Diva Wipe, so then you could get it a bit cleaner before re-installation. If you actually are a Diva then this would likely not be an issue – you probably have a private bathroom at your disposal (pardon the potential pun) wherever you go!

I think that I would have named this product something like “Feminine Funnel” 🙂