The Weight of My World

So I’m not sure if it has been proven anywhere that the Mirena IUD causes weight gain. I know that in the past everyone associated birth control and weight gain, even after countless studies saying that it’s simply not true. I know personally that I’ve told people it’s not the pill, it’s just your body. After reading countless testimonies though I don’t know what is really true for the average woman. Maybe in the studies (I assume there were studies including this potential side effect) those women just happened to be a non-representation of the general female population? Who knows.

What I know is that I have gained weight. And I have lost weight. I don’t know if Mirena is to blame, or maybe just me getting older and doing things to f*** with my metabolism. I definitely know that the discovery of my love for wine did not help this situation (although I’d say it helped in a couple others throughout the years lol).

I have never really been a “skinny” girl. I’m what I see as average. Right now I’m wearing about a size 10-12 in clothes. I’ve got a hefty set of boobs and underneath any protective layers of fat, a fair amount of muscle. I’m a mish mash of Italian & German ancestry and I can’t wear most tall boots due to the size of my calves. I have always been self-conscious about my body. I started reading YM and 17 Magazine when I as probably around 14-15 years old. I remember one time I saw an ad looking for a new “Fresh Face” model and I asked my dad if I could get a photo done to submit. His response was “No you are too husky and your boobs are too big to be a model.” I have never forgot that statement to this very day. It crushed me. I can’t really blame by dad though, he was a single parent with not much income, living in a small town and he had a very old school view on life. I think he thought he was protecting me, but perhaps could have done so in a different manner…. Then when I was older and already moved away from my small town, I remember when my mom was working at GNC and when she sent me chocolate for holidays like Easter or Christmas she included a bottle of diet pills. She also told my aunt and cousin that my clothes were too tight and I should lose weight – or course that gossip got back to me….  I think she was trying to help her daughter out and strive for balance, but again maybe not the best route to take. Anyways that’s in the past, but today I still struggle to obtain and maintain the body that I want to have.  I’m not unrealistic though. I know I will never again wear a size 4/6, I will not weigh 130 lbs and the 34 B bras I once loved are useless. But you know what? That’s ok. It’s even better than ok. It doesn’t matter what the size tag is on your jeans. If you love those jeans and you feel great in those jeans then that’s what matters. If you need to, cut the tag out!

What I want is to feel good in the clothes hanging in my closet that I bought because I loved and now I hate because they don’t fit. I want to put on an outfit because I love the outfit and not because it hides my gut. I want to feel awesome in my own skin. I want to be healthy inside and out.

For more documentation on my personal ups and downs check out my next post: Yo-Yo Is Me.

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Author: mirenafreelife

Just a Canadian woman trying to live the best life I can!

One thought on “The Weight of My World”

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